4 ways a macho man can appreciate art

The macho man has been stereotyped into the biker dude with the sleeve-less t-shirts and biker leather pants flaunting his tattoos all over his arms and neck. Those who try to appear like "normal" people and show appreciation for such things as art must do so without risking their image. Pause. Let that settle for a moment.
There are four easy ways the macho man can appreciate art without jeopardizing his image. You could say, "The Fonz has made his entrance!" The writer, in this case, speaks with experience as he was subjected to Art Appreciation class in college while maintaining his machismo with the ladies and weaklings.
The first way Mr. Macho can appreciate art is by using a distraction. Suppose he is riding on his Harley with his lady through San Francisco and sees a giant bow and arrow stuck into the ground at a bayside park. He keeps his cool as he drops his pack of cigarettes onto the ground as he parks his bike and asks his lady to pick them up for him as he has a backache. That should give him a good couple of minutes to appreciate the art.
Another way Mr. Macho can appreciate art is to grab a clipboard and walk into the local art museum and point out that he is investigating a complaint of methane gas leakage in the buildings on that block and that he has a very sensitive meter for checking behind portraits and statues.
A third way for the macho man to appreciate art without losing his reputation is when he is watching television with his son and sends him down to the mailbox on a Sunday afternoon to check to see if Grandma's Christmas gift will be delivered by the mailman. The key is to have a young enough son to be gullible enough to do that and a living Grandma to blame it on.
The last way, by far the best way, for a macho man to appreciate art is to keep his sunglasses on after he enters the museum with his lady-friend. Of course, he has to reduce his comments to grunts and keep his head moving slowly utilizing peripheral vision at all times.
In summary, it is the challenge of this writer to all who would desire to elevate their awareness of the beauties before them throughout all the cultures of the world without letting on to the rest of the world that they are the least bit interested or impressed. The writer is not responsible for anyone who lets down his guard in such exquisite galleries as the Italian and French museums and exclaims, "Wow! That's totally cool!" Buddy, you are on your own!
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