Television is often described as being an all pervasive anathema, or words to that effect. A mindless, brain-decaying medium radiating social and cultural disintegration. The authenticity and motive of much TV content is endlessly debated and complained about and commented on. Every one has a gripe it seems!
Yet what about considering it from another angle - TV as a friend. Granted, it doesn't quite fit the bill of a classic pal; it won't make you a cuppa and wax on about the sports scores and yesterday's weather, (well at least not in quite the same way!) But let's take another look at our little square friend that sits in the corner and cheerfully entertains 24/7.
(a) Unlike some friends of the human persuasion, TVs can expound on a variety of topics and change subjects on cue.
(b) They can be turned down if ranting noise levels become unbearable. What other friend comes with a volume remote control?
(c) Their company is available whenever needed. No sleep or toilet breaks required!
(d) They're very unlikely to telephone you at odd hours with boring grandma-style gossip.
(e) There is never a need to buy birthday gifts or remember anniversaries of any description ... well, unless you feel inclined to for reasons best left undisclosed!
(f) They aren't inclined to wander, (apart from being tucked under the arm of a pesky burglar.)
(g) Televisions are a great storehouse of favorite peoples, up-lifting images and stirring musical themes and therefore are a more effective mood-enhancer than your average prescription pill, or even your jolliest of consorts.
(h) And unlike the traditional best friend of the canine variety, they never need walking, feeding or cleaning up after.
So, before you thoughtlessly criticize or make another detracting comment about your 'idiot box', or other unkind pet moniker, why not consider it as being a friendly assistant in what could otherwise be quite a cold, dull, uninteresting, ill-informed existence. Next week's lesson: How to bond effectively with your PC pal.
For more fun articles with a 'wicked' sense of humor, Please visit the Fatherspirit blogs! : http://fatherspirit-mydailybread.blogspot.com/
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=David_Braybrooke
Monday, December 15, 2008
Funny pranks 101
Have you ever tried to pull a funny prank on someone to get a few laughs? If not, this is your opportunity! Pranks are little jokes that we play on the people we know and love. If you do them right, they could make both of you laugh until milk is shooting out of your noses
The key to successful funny pranks is to ruffle your victim's feathers without making them too angry or frightened. There's a fine line between the two. Here are some tips and suggestions to ensure that your funny pranks go off without a hitch.
1) Write a zany note
Notes can be great for pranks on people you don't know very well. They are relatively unobtrusive, and also won't get under your victim's skin too much. If someone finds a humorous note in a place they don't expect, it will be sure to brighten their day and give them a good laugh. A tradition I've started with my husband is to attack him with "Ant Brigade" notes, which I leave in several odd places around our house. He never knows where the Ant Brigade is going to show up next to pester him - the pantry, the couch, even the shower!
2) Make your victim the center of attention
This well-known funny prank is best reserved for friends you know pretty well. It's also good for family members who will love you no matter what you do to them. When you're in a crowded department store, you just turn to your victim and exclaim "Who ARE you? And WHY do you keep following me?" Other popular variations include "NO, I will NOT hold your hand" and "I know you miss your mommy, but we'll be home soon!" Comments of this nature will get your victim quite a few strange looks. This can be quite hilarious, especially if your friend has a good sense of humor.
3) Set up a booby trap
Booby trap pranks are always a classic You set an object up to fall as soon as your victim walks into or out of a place. A wonderful example is setting up your ice cube trays at an incline, in order to stage an ice cream container avalanche from the freezer. You could also rig a mannequin to fall out of a closet when it's opened. As you can see, you can get quite creative with this one, especially around Halloween. That's when there are plenty of creepy plastic spiders and skeletons for sale at local stores.
4) Watch your back
After you pull a funny prank on someone, you should beware of one thing: payback. If your prank is particularly good, it is definitely going to warrant a revenge attack. So my advice is to be prepared. And don't say I didn't warn you.
For more information on funny pranks, jokes, and cartoons, check out Family Fun Cartoons today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shaina_Monfils
The key to successful funny pranks is to ruffle your victim's feathers without making them too angry or frightened. There's a fine line between the two. Here are some tips and suggestions to ensure that your funny pranks go off without a hitch.
1) Write a zany note
Notes can be great for pranks on people you don't know very well. They are relatively unobtrusive, and also won't get under your victim's skin too much. If someone finds a humorous note in a place they don't expect, it will be sure to brighten their day and give them a good laugh. A tradition I've started with my husband is to attack him with "Ant Brigade" notes, which I leave in several odd places around our house. He never knows where the Ant Brigade is going to show up next to pester him - the pantry, the couch, even the shower!
2) Make your victim the center of attention
This well-known funny prank is best reserved for friends you know pretty well. It's also good for family members who will love you no matter what you do to them. When you're in a crowded department store, you just turn to your victim and exclaim "Who ARE you? And WHY do you keep following me?" Other popular variations include "NO, I will NOT hold your hand" and "I know you miss your mommy, but we'll be home soon!" Comments of this nature will get your victim quite a few strange looks. This can be quite hilarious, especially if your friend has a good sense of humor.
3) Set up a booby trap
Booby trap pranks are always a classic You set an object up to fall as soon as your victim walks into or out of a place. A wonderful example is setting up your ice cube trays at an incline, in order to stage an ice cream container avalanche from the freezer. You could also rig a mannequin to fall out of a closet when it's opened. As you can see, you can get quite creative with this one, especially around Halloween. That's when there are plenty of creepy plastic spiders and skeletons for sale at local stores.
4) Watch your back
After you pull a funny prank on someone, you should beware of one thing: payback. If your prank is particularly good, it is definitely going to warrant a revenge attack. So my advice is to be prepared. And don't say I didn't warn you.
For more information on funny pranks, jokes, and cartoons, check out Family Fun Cartoons today!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Shaina_Monfils
it's a dog thing
We like to eat poop sometimes - it's a dog thing.
Never our own, of course, but fresh out of the kitty litter tray, crunchy birdie droppings, or some stray wild animal poop is just yum! Chock full of vitamins and minerals we don't get anywhere else.
It's OK to re-eat your own vomit - it's a dog thing.
But we never, ever, eat anyone else's - that would just be gross! Look - if it was OK the first time, there's no harm in giving it another go. If it's really no good for us, it'll come back up again.
We love to roll in dead animals - it's a dog thing.
Look - you might like the smell of that shampoo, but we don't! As soon as we've had a bath, it's off to look for the most aromatic smell we can find, and roll in it. The smellier the better as far as we are concerned. Then we'll really stand out from the crowd!
Sometimes we just like the sound of our own bark - it's a dog thing.
Yes, we hear you, but sometimes we just want to bark and bark and bark, even if it is only a birdie we'll never reach, or scare away.
We need to check our willie is still there if you pat us on the tummy - it's a boy dog thing.
For all we know you were trying to steal it. We need to make sure it's still there and that it works OK.
It's OK to sniff cat's bottoms (if they'll let you) - it's a dog thing.
All animals have a different smell - and cats smell way stranger than dogs.
We love to chew socks and shoes - it's a dog thing.
We chew them because they smell like you. Not that we want to chew you, but we miss you when you're not there, and these are the things that smell most like you - do you see?
We like to drink water from puddles - it's a dog thing.
Water from a puddle or a pot plant or a pond tastes much better than water out of your own dog bowl.
We have to make our bed before we can go to sleep - it's a dog thing.
Some of us dig a hole, and some of us just turn around 3 - 4 times before settling down, but we have to make our bed first. You make yours too - only you do it in the morning - we do it just before we go to sleep.
We have to put our smell on your bed - it's a dog thing.
Especially when you are changing the sheets. If we don't leave our smell there, another dog might come along and claim it!
We love to run around the house really, really fast - it's a dog thing.
No - we don't need more exercise. We're excited! We're so happy we just want to run and run and run.
We squeak or howl when we yawn - it's a dog thing.
There's nothing better than a good yawn....... and to make the most of it, we need to add a little volume. Small dogs squeak, big dogs howl.
We like to sleep with you - it's a dog thing.
You're the pack leader, we want to sleep near you. So if anything scary approaches in the night - we can fight it together - as a pack.
Di Ellis is an avid dog lover, and co-author of the site http://www.BestDoggieTips.com where you can get loads of useful tips and information about our four legged friends including free recipes, dog cartoons (updated weekly) and links to the best free dog stuff on the Net. And when you sign up for our free newsletter, we'll send you a copy of our Dog Recipe Book.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Diane_Ellis
Never our own, of course, but fresh out of the kitty litter tray, crunchy birdie droppings, or some stray wild animal poop is just yum! Chock full of vitamins and minerals we don't get anywhere else.
It's OK to re-eat your own vomit - it's a dog thing.
But we never, ever, eat anyone else's - that would just be gross! Look - if it was OK the first time, there's no harm in giving it another go. If it's really no good for us, it'll come back up again.
We love to roll in dead animals - it's a dog thing.
Look - you might like the smell of that shampoo, but we don't! As soon as we've had a bath, it's off to look for the most aromatic smell we can find, and roll in it. The smellier the better as far as we are concerned. Then we'll really stand out from the crowd!
Sometimes we just like the sound of our own bark - it's a dog thing.
Yes, we hear you, but sometimes we just want to bark and bark and bark, even if it is only a birdie we'll never reach, or scare away.
We need to check our willie is still there if you pat us on the tummy - it's a boy dog thing.
For all we know you were trying to steal it. We need to make sure it's still there and that it works OK.
It's OK to sniff cat's bottoms (if they'll let you) - it's a dog thing.
All animals have a different smell - and cats smell way stranger than dogs.
We love to chew socks and shoes - it's a dog thing.
We chew them because they smell like you. Not that we want to chew you, but we miss you when you're not there, and these are the things that smell most like you - do you see?
We like to drink water from puddles - it's a dog thing.
Water from a puddle or a pot plant or a pond tastes much better than water out of your own dog bowl.
We have to make our bed before we can go to sleep - it's a dog thing.
Some of us dig a hole, and some of us just turn around 3 - 4 times before settling down, but we have to make our bed first. You make yours too - only you do it in the morning - we do it just before we go to sleep.
We have to put our smell on your bed - it's a dog thing.
Especially when you are changing the sheets. If we don't leave our smell there, another dog might come along and claim it!
We love to run around the house really, really fast - it's a dog thing.
No - we don't need more exercise. We're excited! We're so happy we just want to run and run and run.
We squeak or howl when we yawn - it's a dog thing.
There's nothing better than a good yawn....... and to make the most of it, we need to add a little volume. Small dogs squeak, big dogs howl.
We like to sleep with you - it's a dog thing.
You're the pack leader, we want to sleep near you. So if anything scary approaches in the night - we can fight it together - as a pack.
Di Ellis is an avid dog lover, and co-author of the site http://www.BestDoggieTips.com where you can get loads of useful tips and information about our four legged friends including free recipes, dog cartoons (updated weekly) and links to the best free dog stuff on the Net. And when you sign up for our free newsletter, we'll send you a copy of our Dog Recipe Book.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Diane_Ellis
4 ways a macho man can appreciate art
The macho man has been stereotyped into the biker dude with the sleeve-less t-shirts and biker leather pants flaunting his tattoos all over his arms and neck. Those who try to appear like "normal" people and show appreciation for such things as art must do so without risking their image. Pause. Let that settle for a moment.
There are four easy ways the macho man can appreciate art without jeopardizing his image. You could say, "The Fonz has made his entrance!" The writer, in this case, speaks with experience as he was subjected to Art Appreciation class in college while maintaining his machismo with the ladies and weaklings.
The first way Mr. Macho can appreciate art is by using a distraction. Suppose he is riding on his Harley with his lady through San Francisco and sees a giant bow and arrow stuck into the ground at a bayside park. He keeps his cool as he drops his pack of cigarettes onto the ground as he parks his bike and asks his lady to pick them up for him as he has a backache. That should give him a good couple of minutes to appreciate the art.
Another way Mr. Macho can appreciate art is to grab a clipboard and walk into the local art museum and point out that he is investigating a complaint of methane gas leakage in the buildings on that block and that he has a very sensitive meter for checking behind portraits and statues.
A third way for the macho man to appreciate art without losing his reputation is when he is watching television with his son and sends him down to the mailbox on a Sunday afternoon to check to see if Grandma's Christmas gift will be delivered by the mailman. The key is to have a young enough son to be gullible enough to do that and a living Grandma to blame it on.
The last way, by far the best way, for a macho man to appreciate art is to keep his sunglasses on after he enters the museum with his lady-friend. Of course, he has to reduce his comments to grunts and keep his head moving slowly utilizing peripheral vision at all times.
In summary, it is the challenge of this writer to all who would desire to elevate their awareness of the beauties before them throughout all the cultures of the world without letting on to the rest of the world that they are the least bit interested or impressed. The writer is not responsible for anyone who lets down his guard in such exquisite galleries as the Italian and French museums and exclaims, "Wow! That's totally cool!" Buddy, you are on your own!
Did you find this article helpful? If you did, then take a look at these step by step Videos!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gilbert_Nichols
There are four easy ways the macho man can appreciate art without jeopardizing his image. You could say, "The Fonz has made his entrance!" The writer, in this case, speaks with experience as he was subjected to Art Appreciation class in college while maintaining his machismo with the ladies and weaklings.
The first way Mr. Macho can appreciate art is by using a distraction. Suppose he is riding on his Harley with his lady through San Francisco and sees a giant bow and arrow stuck into the ground at a bayside park. He keeps his cool as he drops his pack of cigarettes onto the ground as he parks his bike and asks his lady to pick them up for him as he has a backache. That should give him a good couple of minutes to appreciate the art.
Another way Mr. Macho can appreciate art is to grab a clipboard and walk into the local art museum and point out that he is investigating a complaint of methane gas leakage in the buildings on that block and that he has a very sensitive meter for checking behind portraits and statues.
A third way for the macho man to appreciate art without losing his reputation is when he is watching television with his son and sends him down to the mailbox on a Sunday afternoon to check to see if Grandma's Christmas gift will be delivered by the mailman. The key is to have a young enough son to be gullible enough to do that and a living Grandma to blame it on.
The last way, by far the best way, for a macho man to appreciate art is to keep his sunglasses on after he enters the museum with his lady-friend. Of course, he has to reduce his comments to grunts and keep his head moving slowly utilizing peripheral vision at all times.
In summary, it is the challenge of this writer to all who would desire to elevate their awareness of the beauties before them throughout all the cultures of the world without letting on to the rest of the world that they are the least bit interested or impressed. The writer is not responsible for anyone who lets down his guard in such exquisite galleries as the Italian and French museums and exclaims, "Wow! That's totally cool!" Buddy, you are on your own!
Did you find this article helpful? If you did, then take a look at these step by step Videos!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gilbert_Nichols
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